Codependency is a relational pattern characterized by excessive focus on another person's needs, feelings, and problems at the expense of one's own, often in the context of relationships with addiction, mental illness, or chronic difficulties.
The term originated in the context of families affected by addiction but has been extended to describe broader patterns of dysfunctional caretaking, enmeshment, and self-neglect in relationships.
Codependent patterns typically include: taking excessive responsibility for others' emotions or behaviors, difficulty identifying or expressing one's own needs, deriving self-worth primarily from being needed, and tolerating harmful behavior out of fear of abandonment.
Codependency develops in environments where children were placed in caretaking roles, where emotional neglect made them hyperattuned to others' needs, or where love was associated with self-sacrifice rather than mutual care.
The distinction from healthy relational care is important. Care for others is healthy and necessary. Codependency is characterized by compulsiveness (feeling unable to stop), self-neglect (consistent prioritization of others over self), and the experience of others' wellbeing as one's own responsibility.