Attachment Style Assessment
Before you begin.
Optional. Your name and photo will appear on the result card.
Attachment Style Assessment
How do you attach?
Every time, it was someone different. But the ending was always the same. This isn't about the people you chose. It's about the pattern underneath the choosing.
12 questions · 4–6 minutes · Based on attachment theory research · Not a clinical diagnostic tool
Question 1 of 12
01 / 12
When I get close to someone, I start worrying about them leaving.
AYes, closeness triggers fear of loss.
BCloseness makes me want more distance.
CCloseness feels natural and safe.
DCloseness makes me feel both pulled toward and away at once.
02 / 12
When someone I care about doesn't respond quickly, I feel anxious or assume something is wrong.
AYes, silence from people I care about unsettles me.
BI barely notice or don't find it concerning.
CI might wonder, but I don't assume the worst.
DI want to reach out and also want to pull back at the same time.
03 / 12
In relationships, I tend to need more reassurance than my partner seems to want to give.
AYes, I often need more than I get.
BI rarely need reassurance and sometimes feel pressured to give it.
CWe generally find a balance that works.
DI want reassurance but feel embarrassed asking for it.
04 / 12
Getting close to people makes me uncomfortable. I value my independence highly.
ANo, I want closeness, sometimes intensely.
BYes, deep closeness makes me want to pull back.
CI like closeness in balance with independence.
DI both want it and fear it at the same time.
05 / 12
I find it difficult to depend on people, even when I want to.
ANo, I depend on people but fear they'll leave.
BYes, I prefer to manage on my own.
CI can depend on people when I need to.
DI want to depend on people but it feels unsafe to do so.
06 / 12
When a relationship ends, I tend to feel relieved rather than devastated.
ANo, endings hit me very hard and for a long time.
BYes, there is often relief mixed in.
CI feel sad, but I recover without being overwhelmed.
DI feel both devastated and relieved at the same time.
07 / 12
I often feel like I love more, care more, or invest more than the other person.
AYes, this pattern shows up repeatedly.
BSometimes I feel the opposite, like I invest less.
CIt tends to feel relatively balanced.
DI care deeply but keep part of myself protected.
08 / 12
I push people away when they get too close, even when I don't want to.
ANo, I tend to hold on rather than push away.
BYes, closeness triggers a pull toward distance.
CI don't have this pattern.
DYes, and I resent myself for it afterward.
09 / 12
I've been told I'm too intense, too needy, or too much in relationships.
AYes, this comes up.
BMore likely to be told I'm too distant or unavailable.
CNeither, my style tends to work for most people.
DI've been told both, depending on the relationship.
10 / 12
I feel safest in relationships when there is clear, consistent distance.
ANo, closeness and contact make me feel safer.
BYes, predictable distance is actually more comfortable.
CI feel safest when there's a balance of both.
DI'm not sure I feel fully safe either way.
11 / 12
I find myself attracted to people who are emotionally unavailable or hard to reach.
AYes, there's often an unavailable quality to who I choose.
BI tend to attract people who want more than I can give.
CI'm drawn to people who are available and consistent.
DI'm attracted to both, and it confuses me.
12 / 12
When I think about relationships, my first feeling is:
ALonging. I want deep connection but fear it ending.
BCaution. closeness is complicated and I'd rather manage alone.
COpenness. connection is something I generally feel okay about.
DConflict. I want them but they've also hurt me.
Your Result
Grindorium · Attachment Style
My Result
My Result
grindorium.org
Take the test
What this means
Where it comes from
What to do
Watch next